Malicious Play: The Series
by Mako-clb
Summary: A series of short, unrelated stories done in the Malicious Play style. A third segment is up. Once again, this is very different from the previous installments.
1. Street Fight

_Disclaimer:__ Fushigi Yugi_ and the idea for Malicious Play do NOT belong to me. They both belong to Yu Watase.

_Author's Warning:_ This is meant to be stupid, hopefully in a funny sort of way. It's also the first in a series of Malicious Play-style fics I plan to write. Most will be longer than this, and not in play format. I almost never write that way, but for some stupid reason, I did for this.

**Malicious Play: Street Fight**  
_A Mini-Play_  
By Corina "Mako" Borsuk

**Act I**  
_(Miaka, Chichiri, Nuriko, Tamahome, and Hotohori are gathered in the Palace Courtyard.)_

Miaka: Why did you call us here, Hotohori?

Hotohori: We wished you to be present for our Street Fight with Tamahome.

Miaka: What?

Hotohori: This will decide which of us you shall marry, Miaka.

Miaka & Nuriko: WHAT?!

Tamahome: I got tired of him making moves on you when I'm not around.

Hotohori: Tamahome does not treat you properly.

Tamahome: So, best two out of three rounds decides who gets you.

Hotohori: Chichiri, you shall judge.

Chichiri: Why me? No da.

**Act II**  
**Scene 1**

Chichiri: Round 1! Fight!

Tamahome:_(The "Ogre" symbol on his forehead glows as he swings at Hotohori.)_ Suzaku Firebird Strike!

_(Hotohori goes down for the count.)_

Chichiri: Tamahome wins! No da!

**Scene II**

Chichiri: Round 2! Fight!

Hotohori:_(Strikes a regal pose.)_ Gorgeous Emperor Shock!

_(Tamahome falls over laughing.)_

Chichiri: Hotohori wins. No da?

Nuriko: I thought this was a Street Fight, not a magical girl show!

**Act III**  
_(Tamahome and Hotohori circle each other warily.)_

Chichiri: Round 3! Fight!

Miaka:_(Stalks into the ring.)_ This is stupid!

_(Knocks Tamahome and Hotohori to the ground.)_

Hotohori & Tamahome: Ow! That hurt!

Miaka: If you want to marry me, you have to ask me! Got it?

Chichiri: Miaka wins! No da.

_The End_


	2. Seeing is Believing

_Disclaimer:__Fushigi Yugi_ belongs to Yu Watase and not me. If you thought otherwise, you were wrong.

_Author's Note:_ This is another in my Malicious Play series of stories. Each one stands alone, so you don't need to read the previous stories to enjoy this one.

**Malicious Play: Seeing is Believing**  
By Corina "Mako" Borsuk

"Why did Nuriko have to come on our . . ." Tamahome paused, searching for the strange word Miaka had used. "What did you call this again?"

"It's a date. And, I think Nuriko thought I was going out with Hotohori."

"Any reason for that?" Tamahome asked, a tiny bit of jealousy in his voice.

"I don't know. Maybe Nuriko's just dumb," Miaka whispered back. Or, at least she thought she whispered, but she wasn't quiet enough.

"I'm not dumb, and I also have very good hearing?" Nuriko growled in annoyance.

"Well then, hear this," Tamahome retorted, "You're not invited!"

"Why? You planning something you don't want anyone else to know about?"

"Um, no," Tamahome muttered.

Miaka was just as embarrassed, but found an easy distraction as the local tavern came into view. "Hey, look, we're here."

The priestess of Suzaku and her two celestial warriors found an empty table. In order to avoid any more embarrassment, Tamahome said, "Let's just order, okay?"

"Sounds good to me," Miaka replied with typical enthusiasm, at least where food was concerned. "Waiter, over here please. I'm ready to order!" she shouted over the din of conversation.

After Miaka pointed to her fifth selection from the menu, Tamahome decided this date thing, or whatever Miaka called it, was a bad idea. There was no way he had enough money for all this, and Miaka was still ordering. To Tamahome's relief, however, the waiter suddenly stopped writing things down. Unfortunately, the Suzaku warrior's relief was short lived.

"I'm sorry," the waiter said, although he did not sound apologetic, "but I can't take your order."

Miaka looked stricken and asked in her most pathetic voice, "Why not?"

"Our policy is not to serve cross-dressers."

"What?" Nuriko squeaked. "What makes you think we're cross-dressers?"

"It's pretty obvious. I mean, you two," and the waiter pointed to Nuriko and Miaka, "just aren't feminine looking enough. Know what I mean?"

Tamahome was about to suggest they just go back to the palace and have dinner there, both to get away from all the attention they were drawing and to save money, when he heard a strange noise like a kettle boiling. Turning around, he saw Miaka turning red and steam coming out of her ears.

"And, what exactly about me isn't feminine enough?" the priestess of Suzaku demanded as she slapped both palms on the table and stood.

"Well, I mean, you're sorta flat up there," the waiter replied, vaguely pointing towards Miaka's chest.

"I am NOT flat!" she shouted, sticking her chest out in an effort to emphasis her womanly assets.

"You're flatter than I am," the waiter taunted.

"I am not!" Miaka shouted. Turning toward Tamahome, she asked, "I'm not flat chested, am I?"

"Well, uh, that is," Tamahome stuttered as a giant sweat-drop appeared on his forehead. "I guess you are sorta, but I think you're pretty anyway."

Immediately after he said it, the celestial warrior knew it was the wrong thing to say. He wracked his brain for something to say to fix it, but if there was such a thing, he never got the chance to think of it. Instead, he felt Miaka's palm connect with his face as she slapped him silly.

"Ha! Even he won't defend you. You must be a cross-dresser," the waiter laughed as he looked between the dazed Tamahome and Miaka.

"I am NOT a cross-dresser, and I'm gonna prove it!" she retaliated as she began to take off her school jacket. Miaka continued to mumble to herself about waiters with poor eyesight as she began unbuttoning her blouse. She was so angry, she did not notice that every male eye in the place gazed in her direction.

Tamahome regained his senses just as Miaka was undoing the last button on her white blouse. At first, all he did was stare, waiting to catch a glimpse of Miaka's flesh. Then, he remembered where he was and that he would not be the only man to lay eyes on Miaka half-naked.

"Hey, stop!" Tamahome shouted as he began to reach over and try to stop Miaka from doing what he thought she was doing.

"Proving I'm a girl!" she replied as she pulled her blouse open and thrust her chest forward. Displayed for the entire tavern to see were Miaka's not-insignificant, though not particularly large, breasts, which were barely covered by some lacy, see-through material.

"Nobody look! Nobody look!" Tamahome ordered in vain as he reached over to cover Miaka's breasts with his hands.

Unfortunately, this action only resulted in Tamahome crashing down to the floor when Miaka slugged him hard, the cry of "Hentai!" on her lips.

"Who you callin' hentai? I'm not the one flashing the entire tavern!" Tamahome retorted in defense as he rubbed his now very red, and blue and purple, face.

Not that anyone could tell since her face was already red with anger, but Miaka blushed in embarrassment as she slowly looked down at her very exposed breasts, just now realizing what she'd done. "Ack! No! No! NO!"

She closed her blouse and held it together with one hand as she grabbed her jacket and then raced for the door screaming, "Tamahome, you idiot! I am not a hentai. And, I am not flat-chested!"

"Miaka, wait. I'm sorry!" Tamahome shouted as he raced after her. "I didn't mean it. You're not a hentai, and you have really pretty breasts!"

Although at this point both the priestess and her warrior were well outside the tavern, those inside could still hear a feminine voice shouting, "Tamahome, you hentai!"

Back inside the tavern, the waiter that started the whole mess had a huge grin on his face, with just a trickle of blood coming from his nose.

"Hey, man," said another waiter as he clapped him on the back, "that was quite a show."

"Yup," said the first waiter. "She wasn't quite as flat-chested as I thought."

"I still can't believe how many girls fall for that. I mean, that's got to be the third time this week some girl has shown us her breasts."

"Yup. The boss is a genius for inventing that one," the first waiter replied. "It's just too bad that other girl at the table didn't show us the goods."

"Yeah, she was hot. I wonder where she went anyway."

Where Nuriko went was out the door and back to the palace almost as soon as Miaka started yelling.

"How did he know?" Nuriko demanded of the reflection in the mirror as he inspected every strand of hair and every bit of make-up to determine what had given him away. "How did he know I was a cross-dresser?!?"

_The End_


	3. Valley of Director's Tears

_Disclaimer:_ The characters depicted here belong to Yu Watase and some of the dialogue is taken verbatim from the Viz translation. No plagiarism or disrespect is meant. I hold only the highest regard for Watase-sensei and the people at Viz. Please don't sue me.

_Author's Note:_ Like all the installments in this series, this story stands alone. It is not necessary to have read any previous chapters to understand this one. Also, as each installment is written in a different style and dealing with different issues, they don't even take place in the same universe.

**Malicious Play: Valley of Director's Tears**  
_A parody of Valley of Tears_ (manga chapter 49)  
By Corina "Mako" Borsuk

"Miaka? Tamahome? What's going on with Nuriko?"

"Aaaachoooo!"

"Cut! Cut!" the director shouted. "Nuriko, you're supposed to be dead! You can't sneeze!"

"Sorry. Sorry. But, all this make-up is bothering my allergies."

"Whatever. Let's just start again from the top. Tasuki?"

"Gotcha."

"Roll camera! Take two!" The director pointed at Tasuki and shouted, " Action!"

"Miaka? Tamahome? What's going on with Nuriko?"

"She . . . fought with a Celestial warrior . . ."

"Cut!" The director shouted.

"What?"

"It's Seiryu warrior," Tasuki reminded. "Seiryu, not Celestial."

"Hey, Tasuki, don't yell at me. You're the one who messed up his lines 14 times last week," Tamahome said defensively.

"What, are you counting?"

"People, people, please. Let's act like professionals," the director begged in that long-suffering tone that meant he was used to this sort of thing. "Just take your places and we'll start again.

"Roll film and action."

"Miaka? Tamahome? What's goin' on with Nuriko?"

"She . . . fought with a Seiryu warrior . . . and just now . . . she . . ."

"You . . . you damn fool! What kinda ass are you? WHAT GOOD DID YER DYIN' DO!? Ya bitch! Wake the hell up!! NURIKO!

"She was . . . um, what's my line?"

"Now whose messing up? I really shouldn't be surprised. You've never been able to do a scene in less than five takes."

"Tamahome, stop picking on Tasuki," Miaka ordered.

"Geez, not only can you not act, but you have to get your girlfriend to defend you. Although, considering she got you the job . . ."

"Why you," Tasuki shouted. "I'm tired of you and your jealousy."

"Jealous!? What are you talking about?"

"You think I don't know how much you want Miaka. I've seen the way you look at her during your scenes together."

"It's called acting," Tamahome retorted. "I'm sure you've heard of it, Tasuki. It's what you're supposed to be doing."

"ENOUGH!" the director finally shouted. "Shoot's over. Go cool off you two, and tomorrow I don't want you saying anything but your lines."

As the cast dispersed—Miaka trying to calm her boyfriend, Tamahome giving Tasuki evil glares, Nuriko complaining about having to spend another hour-and-a-half in make-up the next morning, and the rest rushing off the set before another fight broke out—the director turned to his assistant and asked him to call the Seiryu cast in early so they could shoot their scene.

"Thank goodness Yui and Nakago are professionals," he said. "You don't see them letting their divorce get in the way of their work."

_The End_


End file.
